What is the norm?

So I just had a rather amusing experience a few minutes ago. The Elder missionaries from our ward just stopped by to talk to Wes. Apparently they are teaching a young man who they thought Wes would be a good example to. This young man is apprehensive to attend church due to one) he would obviously stand out because he is a new face, and two) he does not fit into the "norm". I think we all would agree that no matter where you live the church is the same. However, and unfortunately, the members are not. Myself included, there are people who are judgemental of others and how they look. When Wes first came home with his ears pierced I was not pleased. But when he started to stretch them, I was REALLy unpleased. We got into a big fight about him not wearing them to church. I was being one of those people that cared more about what others would think of Wes when they saw him, than what he thought and liked. His feelings were not important to me. Later I realized I should not care what others think. If my husband was comfortable being at church with his earrings, by golly, I was not going to care anymore as long as he was there. I apologized immediately and profusely. So apparently, due to Wes' not caring about fitting in, they want him to talk to this young man. They want this person to feel comfortable being there no matter what he looks like. We all know that Wes is far from normal and he loves life more because of it. Also, I love him more because he is who he is-no pretenses. So I ask you, what is the norm?